2. Not sure why you're asking me my age. But it can be funny. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. still alive 810 GIFs. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. My bad, its just your mouth. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." 15. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. 3. 53. I dont know. 66. Does the new one work any better? She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Now you can be! As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. Mentally? Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 82. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Stupidity isnt a crime. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. So, you changed your mind? Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 58. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. Hanging by a thread. Don't Push It Too Far. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! 76. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. I havent met the right one yet. I really thought you already knew. Sort of. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Im in a relationship with myself. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. 1. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! but it's just so blunt and funny. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Do you really care? 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Still with us. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! 6. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. 2. 3. Thats why Im single. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Living an amazing dream. Not everybody may appreciate them. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Youll go far someday. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? Spiritually? Pick your struggle. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Impressive! Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Im jealous of people who dont know you. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Want to equip yourself with more responses? But, they will grow up into a dog. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. 67. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Reply. I'm loved! Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. You were a young man when you last spoke. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types 73. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. 14. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Do you have a minute? Keep calm and be awesome. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 13. Could have been worse, right. How do you think that I am doing? Liked what you just read? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. I think I am doing alright. (Use a sexy tone). You may join me, though. You want to make them laugh, not yell. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. For more information, please see our It's best part of the whole movie. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. This one is bound to get a laugh. . Not. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? "Any day above ground is a good day. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Required fields are marked *. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. You win the internet. It's Okay. 93. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. There are nosy people everywhere! 75. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. This one is a bit long. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. original sound - Tyren Sams. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. How impressive! Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. No? The best GIFs are on GIPHY. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. 55. "Yeah, you're three years late. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Hmmph. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Youre a ground-hugger. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Could Be Better. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. Thank you, it made my day. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. - Anonymous. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Better inside than outside. Physically? 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. *Siri activates front camera*. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Steven Wright (comedian). 90. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. 6. 15. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. I love you. There is plenty of room. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Is that a scar on your face? How did you get here? Could Be Payday. 64. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Hopefully, youll stay there. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! We cant always get what we want now, can we? Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Yup, I dont share it. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. You're the reason God created the middle finger. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. My grandfather had a ton of these. I'm alive, whoa! Because youre highly qualified. I have been going through GOT in my work life. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? Reply. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. 100. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! 30. 5. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. A real low-life. I'm afraid I can't do that. Everything is always better on payday right!? Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. 20. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 56. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. 3. Mentally? I always yawn when Im interested. 62. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Who knows, they might just do it. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Whats with all these questions? 38. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Is it your job to spread ignorance? Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Because they are already taking their time. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. No, waitIm actually plural. 1. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. 1. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Because your ass is out of this world! You dont need to say it. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. 9. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Heart-shattering. 7. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. At minding my own business? Then they throw dirt in your face. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. "See, I will finally make you smile.". It could always have been worse. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. 6. Hello, how are you? However, I dont recall anything about morons. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. 16. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Oof, gotta hide! When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. Your secrets are always safe with me. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Me being single is just a conspiracy! I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. 16. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. 54. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Some people spend all their time on their phone. . Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. I never even listen when you tell me them. 10. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Learn more about us here. You have an old soul. Funny as phuck. "Hey You, I'm really good. *wink*. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. As for me, I cant even afford honey! We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. 2. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. I dont think youre stupid. How do you usually respond to the question? 35. Just look what happened there! (Say it like he or. Im too expensive. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number.
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